This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
