If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
