We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
