420 ftw
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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