just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
