I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
