Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
