wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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