Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
