it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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