Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
