This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
