But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
