White coat. Heels.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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