I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
