I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
