He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize