Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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