Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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