So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
