i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
