I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
