Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
