i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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