eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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