It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
