hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
