1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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