It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
