I wanna bring you to show and tell
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
