is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
