Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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