xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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