all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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