I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
