found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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