I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
