for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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