I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
