Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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