do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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