Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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