Swine flu is the new snow day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
