I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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