well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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