Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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