If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just invented taco cereal.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
