if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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