there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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