Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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