my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
