He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
